The pains you feel are messengers.
Listen to them. Turn them to sweetness.
—Rumi
Wet scent of fallen leaves,
bronze and copper gleam.
Snow clouds crown Logan peak.
In the stream, emerald moss
softens boulders, and ice
on branches that bend
into water are stems and petals of ice,
peace lilies made of glass.
There, in the center,
a slate-gray dipper dives
into cold silk water, emerging dry,
fattened with insects
that nestle under rocks.
How lonely it has been for us all,
how strange, as we live inside this fragile year
as if we are living inside an egg,
waiting to be born, turning
slow circles as the days turn
into winter, the pandemic circling us.
But here is the Oregon Grape, a wildflower
that bloomed yellow frills back
in early March, and here it is still,
in twenty-four degrees, still growing
its dark green leaves, brilliant blossoms replaced
with blue grapes, food for grouse
who explode in clumsy
flight when we step too close.
And here is the juniper.
Rub its ferny leaves between
your fingers to release its spice,
see its dusty berries blue like dull stars,
food for the solitaire who perches high
in the evergreens, its voice like a single small bell
ringing once, calling out to the others, who perch
alone in their own evergreens,
and they are not unlike us, isolated
but resilient in the exquisite world,
our bright voices calling out
to one another in the dark.
Shanan Ballam is the Poet Laureate for Logan City, Utah. She is the author of the poetry chapbook The Red Riding Hood Papers (Finishing Line 2010) and two full-length poetry collections Pretty Marrow (Negative Capability 2013) and Inside the Animal: The Collected Red Riding Hood Poems (Main Street Rag Publishing 2019). She earned an MFA in poetry writing from the University of Nebraska, Omaha, studying under her mentor, William Trowbridge, former Poet Laureate of Missouri. Her work has appeared in several literary journals and anthologies including Tar River Poetry, DIAGRAM, South Dakota Review, and Sugar House Review. She teaches poetry writing and composition for Utah State University and was selected as the 2014 Lecturer of the Year for the College of Humanities & Social Sciences. She served on the Utah Arts Council Board of Directors as the Literary Arts Representative from 2013-2017.