{"id":1480,"date":"2019-09-28T18:00:39","date_gmt":"2019-09-28T22:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/?p=1480"},"modified":"2019-12-14T22:53:43","modified_gmt":"2019-12-15T02:53:43","slug":"my-celebrity-life-late-capitalism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/2019\/09\/28\/my-celebrity-life-late-capitalism\/","title":{"rendered":"My Celebrity Life | Late Capitalism"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3><em><span style=\"color: #999999;\">by <\/span><a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/MLWoldman\">M.L. Woldman<\/a>, <span style=\"color: #808080;\">Late Capitalism Correspondent<\/span><\/em><\/h3>\n<div><\/div>\n<p>the first time i became a celebrity<br \/>\ni thought about kurt cobain<br \/>\nand how he missed going into<br \/>\na thrift store with $20<br \/>\nnot knowing what he might get<br \/>\nand how the thrill was gone<br \/>\nwhen he knew he could buy the whole store.<br \/>\nso i bought some $3000 sunglasses<br \/>\nso people couldn&#8217;t see the disappointment<br \/>\nin my stare.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<p>the second time i became a celebrity<br \/>\nit was for no reason at all.<br \/>\ni had a catchphrase and everybody knew me<br \/>\nas a sort of ironic joke.<br \/>\ni surrounded myself with nonpersons<br \/>\nwho constantly told me i&#8217;d made it.<br \/>\nand every time i was told<br \/>\ni&#8217;d made it<br \/>\nnew schisms bore deep into<br \/>\nmy sense of making it<br \/>\nuntil i was a husk<br \/>\nfilled with blow and riches.<\/p>\n<p>the third time i became a celebrity<br \/>\ni took up a political cause to make<br \/>\nmy life feel more necessary.<br \/>\ni think it was saving cute animals<br \/>\nor some shit.<br \/>\ni raised millions for cute animals.<br \/>\nwe stepped over homeless people<br \/>\nto get to the lavish galas<br \/>\nwhere i was rejoiced as a savior.<\/p>\n<p>the last time i became a celebrity<br \/>\nit was due to some latent nostalgia.<br \/>\npeople wanted to remember a time when<br \/>\nthey didn&#8217;t feel bad all the time<br \/>\nand they loosely associated my celebrity<br \/>\nwith that time.<br \/>\nthey figured that if they brought me back<br \/>\ninto the spotlight<br \/>\nthat they might feel the same way<br \/>\nthey once did.<br \/>\nbut seeing me now<br \/>\nyears later<br \/>\ni am haggard and bloated.<br \/>\ni look like how they don&#8217;t want to feel anymore<br \/>\nand i am soon cast aside<br \/>\nlike expensive sunglasses<br \/>\nin the bargain bin<br \/>\nat a thrift store.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by M.L. Woldman, Late Capitalism Correspondent the first time i became a celebrity i thought about kurt cobain and how he missed going into a &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":1481,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[171,177,168],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-economy","category-humanity-of-it-all","category-the-white-house-occupant"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/drinks-1283608_640.jpg?fit=640%2C426&ssl=1","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1480"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1496,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1480\/revisions\/1496"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}