“If one more person tells me I need to take care of myself, I\u2019m going to scream! I realize that people mean well and probably don\u2019t know what else to say. But, honestly, I don\u2019t have to be constantly reminded to take care of myself. And, by the way, I\u2019d like to know exactly what that looks like . . . What does that mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If asked, I would say that to me it means getting a personal trainer, going away for a weekend, having a pedicure, getting my hair done, having someone clean my house, or taking myself out to dinner. Do you happen see any common denominator? It all costs money!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My brother asked me why I would feel guilty about spending money on myself. It\u2019s not about that. I don\u2019t feel guilty, but it\u2019s not like I have an endless supply of funds either. I prefer not worrying about the money I\u2019m spending while I\u2019m actually getting a massage as it kind of defeats the purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When someone tells me to take care of myself, it just feels like one more thing I have to do \u2014 on my own. So, on top of having to deal with all the caregiving itself and doing things for others, adding another thing to do, even if it is for myself, can just feel like too much. I feel angry and resentful. I now have to take care of myself too?! Can\u2019t someone take care of me for a change?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tried to tell my siblings that if I get a $35.00 gift certificate for a pedicure, you\u2019d think I won the lottery. And, what a treat to be taken out for dinner. To my friends, I say, please don\u2019t wait to hear from me. Call me and tell me you are taking me out for dinner and make it happen. It\u2019s also a recognition and validation from someone else besides myself. I know I\u2019m doing a good thing and making a sacrifice, but it just isn\u2019t as meaningful when I\u2019m the one who has to reward myself. I could use the companionship too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, please, instead of telling me to take care of myself, arrange for us to go get a pedicure together or go out to dinner. Give me a small gift certificate (doesn\u2019t have to be much) towards a massage. Feel free to ask if there is anything I \u201cneed,\u201d but I\u2019d prefer to be asked if there is anything I \u201cwant,\u201d instead. Give me permission to \u201cwant\u201d something and just not always be in a state of \u201cneed.\u201d However, don\u2019t be offended if my response sounds like I\u2019m asking for something that costs money \u2014 because I am.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n