{"id":531,"date":"2019-08-08T15:59:28","date_gmt":"2019-08-08T15:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/?p=531"},"modified":"2019-09-08T02:28:48","modified_gmt":"2019-09-08T02:28:48","slug":"damn-gods-got-a-twisted-sense-of-humor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/2019\/08\/08\/damn-gods-got-a-twisted-sense-of-humor\/","title":{"rendered":"Damn, God’s Got … | by David Estringel"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cDamn, God\u2019s Got a Twisted Sense of Humor\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Photo by <\/em>Gage Walker<\/em><\/a> on <\/em>Unsplash<\/em><\/a> <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

by David Estringel <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was born a criminal 
and mentally ill 
on a sunny April morning in 1969. 
The sky was blue, 
God was in his Heaven, 
and I was fashionably late. 
My parents were hopeful\u2014 
father swollen with pride, 
mother already counting grandchildren. 
Damn, God\u2019s got a fucked-up sense of humor. 
Who else could make a sexual predator 
look cute in purple Garanimals? 
An abomination rock a school Christmas play 
in a pair of make-shift, white feather wings 
and glittery Converse high-tops? 
Good ol\u2019 St. Marys, 
where brown (OK, sorta brown) boys like me 
go to learn the three Rs, 
fade away 
into a sea of beige, and 
find shame in their bodies 
in the process. 
Where fear is the heart of love 
and there\u2019s a special place in Hell for me 
\u2018cause God hates sissies\u2014 
So sayeth Sister Clair Veronica! 
Damn, God\u2019s got a fucked-up sense of humor. 
Interesting how the tides have changed. 
Popstars and Hollywood 
with their puppy dog eyes and bleached teeth 
telling us how \u201cIt gets better\u201d, 
promising unicorns 
and pots of gold 
at the end of colorless rainbows. 
Too bad Matthew Shepherd 
couldn\u2019t stick around 
just a couple of more years 
to hear those sweet words-- 
no leprechaun\u2019s treasure 
at the end of a pistol grip 
or the bottom of fence posts 
on cold October nights. 
Damn, God\u2019s got a fucked-up sense of humor. 
Turn on the radio. 
Turn on the TV. 
We are everywhere 
for all to see 
and have a chuckle. 
Walking, talking stereotypes of 
who The Unbroken still think we should be. 
Am I \u201cJust Jack\u201d 
or the Stanford Blatch\u2014 
the quippy, queeny best friend, 
a comic relief. 
Stand back and clap! 
Watch the pink monkey dance! 
(Are they expecting me to pull a string of banana-colored 
anal beads out of my ass?) 
So nice to be finally wrapped up 
in America\u2019s embrace. 
Too bad all I want to do 
is tear at the fabric of all that is good and holy 
like some twisted moth 
with an appetite for family values 
and holy sacraments 
that straight folks don\u2019t seem to have a problem 
shitting all over-- 
So sayeth GW Jr! 

Feeling a little like my birth day today. 
Damn, God has a twisted sense of humor. 

 <\/pre>\n\n\n\n
David Estringel<\/em><\/strong> is poet, writer, and author that has been published, internationally, in literary journals and magazines and is currently a Contributing Editor (fiction) at Red Fez, Poetry Editor at Fishbowl Press, editor\/writer at The Elixir Magazine, and Artist in Residence at Cajun Mutt Press and Elixir Magazine. Connect with David on Twitter @The_Booky_Man<\/a> and his website<\/a><\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cDamn, God\u2019s Got a Twisted Sense of Humor\u201d
\n#poetsfortherevolution<\/p>\n
Photo by Gage Walker on Unsplash <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":532,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2,176,164],"tags":[29],"class_list":["post-531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-weekly-feature","category-human-rights","category-politics","tag-david-estringel"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Gods-Got-a-Fucked-Up-Sense-of-Humor.jpg?fit=2887%2C3609&ssl=1","post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=531"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1068,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/531\/revisions\/1068"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/532"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lineriderpress.com\/headlinepoetry\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}